Writer’s block—it’s probably afflicted you at one point or another, but how do you overcome it?
The secret to curing writer’s block isn’t a secret at all—in fact—it’s something you do at least once a day (for clean freaks and germaphobes, it might be four times a day).
SO WHAT’S THE SECRET?
Is it brushing your teeth daily? No.
Torturing ants with a magnifying glass? No, just no.
Dressing up like Sean Connery from Zardoz? What?
It’s actually none of the above. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize it, but the secret to curing writer’s block is to have a long, warm and relaxing shower.
Before a riot breaks out, let me answer some pressing questions.
QUESTIONS FROM AN ANGRY MOB
Aspiring writer Wally Lamb:
Tuan, are you effin’ kidding me? A shower? What kind of nonsense is this?
I’m not kidding. I know there are countless ways to cure writer’s block, but the best method is to take a shower. Go on! Take one. I think you really need one.
Critically acclaimed writer Erskine Caldwell:
What if I don’t have a shower in my house?
Find a waterfall or move to a rainy country.
New York Times bestselling author Jamie McGuire:
Do you have any evidence to support this silliness?
Take it from me. 95% of the ideas in my short stories were born when droplets of water raced down my perfectly sculpted body. If you google ‘shower writers’, you’ll find some articles with a semi-scientific explanation on how having a shower stimulates the creation of ideas.
But when I’m in the shower, my mind is completely ‘pure’. Ideas will come into being and my heart and mind will instantly feel and measure the vast expanse of their potential.
If I’m trying to find a way to end my novel, I’ll keep asking myself how. For example: If I’m trying to find a logical way for my protagonist to go from point A to point B, how would I do this? I’ll ask myself this while I’m in the shower:
“Okay, so my character Roger needs to do this? But how do I connect this with that?”
Then the magic of having a shower kicks in and my mind responds to the request.
It discharges ideas at a rapid pace: “This could happen or that could happen”. If I don’t like the idea, I just let the thought pass. I don’t try and challenge it anyway. And then more suggestions and ideas will follow after that until you find an idea that simply ‘works’ or you have a magical ‘lightbulb’ moment.
USA Today bestselling author Jasinda Wilder:
But I do this even when I’m not having a shower. I love being dirty and smelly. Why are you trying to make me cleaner? What’s your hidden agenda?
If your mind is ‘in the zone’, you can easily cure writer’s block without having a shower. But when you’re in the shower and you’re relaxed, the mind doesn’t have to devote any energy to your body, instead, all the processing power is concentrated on the thoughts you are sending it and it responds in an almost quantum computing-like manner.
And Jasinder, I have no hidden agenda. I like you just the way you are, dirty and smelly.
Bestselling author of the Sunrise Saga, Stephanie Meyer:
But will it help me write a bestseller?
For the past fortnight, I’ve been trying to find a way to end my novel. And guess what? I came up with the ending while I had a shower. And I believe my novel will be a major bestseller, selling trillions of copies. So to answer your question—taking a shower will definitely help you write a bestseller.
Struggling up-and-coming writer James Patterson:
I can barely buy food for my hamster. Won’t taking extra showers increase my water bill?
Taking twenty-minute showers every day will certainly result in higher water bills. But think of it as an investment. Higher bills will pay off when you see yourself on the New York Times Bestseller List. Don’t worry Mr. Patterson, you’ll get there one day.
Or you could do what I suggested earlier: Find a waterfall or move to a rainy country. Or do both.
So there you have it—the not-so-secretive cure to writer’s block has been revealed. You can now expect a huge surge in bestselling novels to plague the marketplace as well as meeting a lot more people with great personal hygiene. Be ready for it and protect yourself as if it was a zombie outbreak.
You’ve been warned.
Thanks for reading everyone. Have a great week!
You can follow me on Twitter: @Tuan_Ho444
Until next time, something wonderful awaits!